Kosher

Dear Diary, why are Asian men uncircumcised? They are very likable and easy and don't demand much because they are shy. Very low maintenance, to be precise, but most are not cut and I am repulsed at the mere thought of placing my freshly rouged lips and brushed teeth atop the tip of a penis with as much skin as a bulldog's neck. It is wrinkly and unsightly and I think I'd much rather bury my face in a pair of hairy ones.

I almost certainly place a condom on a penis with extra skin. These poor boys have to rinse all the time, even when they've just rinsed not too long ago. The skin traps an aroma that's quick to turn sour and unsavory. What were their mothers thinking? This is one thing I love about the Jewish culture, such attention to cleanliness and circumcision seems to be an absolute must!

Here is my little trick to giving unbridled head to an uncut shlong. I grab it (and with some derision as I'm angry that I am even expected to entertain this ugly thing without a condom, if requested) and pour some lubricant around the shaft. Then I work my hand up and down it and cover some of the foreskin with the lubricant to mask any odour - a pre-emptive strike, sort of - and then I gently place my mouth on it and suck slowly as I don't want any of the nasty odour to travel up the passageway of my nostrils. I know, dear Diary, there was Un-Savory, but those were dire circumstances.